Thoughts.

I want to write, but I don’t want to write.

I want to take pictures, but it is hot.  Everything is dead.

I want to plan, but plans change.

I want to make everyone happy, but that is not in my power.

I want to be happy, and honestly? I have been doing a pretty good job of that.

I have smiled more often than not this week.  That counts for something.

I am reading the book of John, and learning, once again, how to believe.

I am trusting my instincts more.

I love them.  I hope they know it.

 

I am going back through old pictures from a time when the world wasn’t brown.

Fall will be here soon.  Hopefully the rain will come sooner.

There is a lot of healing that needs to go on.

I am learning to let go of that which I have no control over.

It isn’t easy.

Pretty sure life isn’t supposed to be easy. 

Maybe easy is overrated. 

Maybe I am supposed to be learning how to trust when the answers I so desperately want don’t arrive.

I know for a fact that I over think things.

I know for a fact that other people don’t get the way I think.

I decided when I woke up this morning that I think in snapshots.  The reason I can’t always give an immediate answer is because sometimes I have the let the snapshots come together before I can make it a coherent thought.

I told mom my theory and she started laughing, said she had never though of it that way but it made the way I did school make a lot more sense.

I am choosing to believe that good things are going to happen.  That people will start smiling again, that a healthy baby boy is going to arrive, that I am going to make it through this phase with a stronger faith than before.

My heart is breaking right now. 

Summertime!

I got an e-mail from one of the moms in my mom’s mops group (make sense? my mom is the older mother mentor for the mops group at church…) who wanted some summertime pictures of her children.  I was excited, falls right into my plan of taking more people pictures, so off to the park we went.  The mom told me I would be her hero if I could get a decent picture with all 3 of them looking at the camera, and out of the 400 pictures I took, picture number 8 was this:

 

Not to bad, right?  The rest of them went something like this:

Not a lot of looking at me going on! 

Someday I am going to look at my photography and see professional quality (maybe…).  But for today, I am happy that I definitely see progress.  Progress is good!

  

Of course, there are always my favorite pictures, the ones less posed and more kids being kids…

It was a fun summer day!  Or morning, we got done at 10am and it was already 90 degrees out!

 

Part of you capture

Currently…

1. Currently one of my favorite people ever is asleep on my bed.  I picked up Chelsie at the airport this morning, we drove home, ate taco bell and fell asleep.  College roomies will always do what we did in college, I guess.  Eat taco bell and sleep.
2. I am currently eating trail mix.  with a spoon.  while picking out the raisins. and adding chocolate chips.
3. the current season of design star is on my tv.  I have hopes that this year is better than last.
4. I also currently have every single season premiere from the syfi channel on my dvr. 5 new shows from this week.  I heart syfi.
5. It is currently really hot outside, and I am not a fan. 
6. I am currently set up for 28 days of vacation (not all paid vacation days, mind you, just days I plan on being on vacation) over the course of August 10-October 16.  That is nuts.
7. My favorite hair style is currently pippy longstocking-style pigtail braids.  Why, I do not know, but I love them.
8. I am currently not a david bromstead fan.  This might be a lame season. (see number 3)
9. I had my first zucchini off of my five plants, and it was awesome!   Unfortunately, there are currently no other  zucchini on my plants :(
10. I had a really weird/interesting/sad case at work this week, and I am still feeling a little wonky 2 days later.  Sometimes work does that to me.  Currently, all I can say is that I am grateful my daddy didn’t die when I was 7.  That would have really sucked. 

2 days early

the 4th of July.  One of my favorite holidays.  Celebrated this year on the 2nd of July, which doesn’t have quite the same ring…

My first ever success at photographing fireworks

 

 

  proof that we were in a small town, I was sitting directly across the street from where the fireworks were being shot off.  as in, ash was falling on my camera.  My whole family was hanging out in a long line, and it was a beautiful show…

 

Before the fireworks there was Frisbee:

    

(good catch, dad!)

lounging on the front porch

 

and scaring little sisters with poppers

we can’t get any more patriotic than that, now, can we?

nathan and i....

.... love messing around.

He has the greatest sunglasses.

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