Reminding

Sometimes I have to remind myself that life is good

When I am having a semester with bad professors and too many group projects

and I constantly questions whether or not I really want to be doing this

and I have been kind of sick for a month and really sick for a week

and I want my best friend to live closer (well, she does, just not close enough)

and I want to sew and take pictures and travel

and not study. or be sick.

at those times I have to remind myself that life is good.

really good.

so VERY VERY GOOD!

(kansas sunset> jamaica sunset)

 

 

 

Hello Life.

You are quite wonderful.

Just Writing.

I should be studying right now, but the fact that I haven’t known what to study the whole semester makes studying for the final challenging.  Instead, I am listening to random music, ordering my best friend a Christmas present, and ignoring my to-do list.  I have people coming for dinner on Saturday, and I am excited, but that means I need to clean my room… which I plan on doing, but that is just about as fun as studying, so here I am. 

Lately I have been contemplating the new year, making plans and then coming up with reasons not to do those plans, and then thinking that I really want to do those plans, I deciding what to me is the most important use of time, money, life.  So many people at work tell me I should do whatever I want now while I am single, but still… I own a house, I committed to school, I love living near family.  My social l life in Wichita so far has consisted of 3 girls, one of whom is moving to Texas next week, one of whom is spending most of her time in Salina, and one that just got custody of her 4 year old niece.  I officially have no one to go out to dinner late at night with anymore.  So… I am going to change some things.  Not sure what, but I am contemplating it.  Of course, my choices are either do the traveling nurse thing, or figure out how to change it while staying here.  We will see.

My house looks like Christmas, and that makes me happy on so many levels.  My tree is fake with white lights, which isn’t my preference, but most of the ornaments are glittery which means it sparkles, and I love me some sparkles.  I about feel off the ladder putting up my outside lights, but it looks good, probably the first time since I bought the house anyone can say that about the outside.

 

I love this girl:

I wish I knew how that relationship was going to work out.

 

Learning to accept things that you have no control over? That one is taking me awhile.  I have had a couple of major meltdowns lately. Fortunately… I have a dad who will listen to me cry hysterically over nothing he can fix, and girlfriends who notice that I need a friend and so agree to drive down for an impromptu Christmas party. I need my girls.

 

I am planning my travel for the next year.  So far I have:

Florida/cruise~ January 28.

Florida for my Birthday/Jessy’s senior trip~ March 16

Wisconsin for Chelsie~ Sometime when it is warm(July?)

Fall football trip~ September

Florida for RaDonna’s Wedding~ November 3

Texas for a potential Elizabeth wedding~ December (no she doesn’t have a ring and yes I am putting it on my calendar.  My experience with Elizabeth is that she gets what she wants).

Other things I know:  I will not go that long without seeing a certain baby so hopefully Ricki brings him home in Summer… or they can move to Arkansas and make it a weekend trip instead of a whole flight.   RaDonna is moving to Nashville, so that would be a fun trip.  And… I am leaving the country.  Maybe to Zimbabwe in April or Rwanda in may?  That comes back to what I am willing to spend money on.   I am thinking Rwanda.  That puts me at a major trip every other month.  Also puts me hopefully gone in the middle of terms to make school easy. I should look that up. 

I want to be content in where I am, but not willing to settle that this is what it is.  make sense?  I want to make the most of it, and know that maybe making the most of it isn’t quitting my job and moving every three months, (because honestly? I don’t make new friends easily and traveling is only fun if there is someone to take pictures with) but staying here, growing in my job, doing school, enjoying my raise (I now make more money than I did in KC.  This makes me happy.) and finding things to get involved with in this community.  I miss having a group. Maybe I need to figure out how to build one.

Maybe I need to sign up for that hockey class I keep checking out.  Just a thought.

Maybe… I need to put my computer to bed and throw in a load of wash while reading a research article.

I miss him:

What my family was thankful for this year

This baby boy is possibly the most loved baby boy ever:

  

 

 

    

 

There is a reason thanksgiving is my favorite day, and this year was approximately 15 pounds better than normal :)

 

Part of you capture.

Sometimes

Sometimes life sucks.  Sometimes the things you want so badly don’t happen.

Sometimes families fall apart.  Sometimes tears happen and pain is so bad it can’t be changed.

Sometimes I want to run and hide.

 

Sometimes hope happens.

Sometimes the thing we have wanted for years comes true

 

Sometimes… sisters get pregnant :)

Sometimes little sisters get really excited!

     

2 weeks from today he is due.  2 weeks from tomorrow I am headed to Florida.

Sometimes focusing on the positive is the best way to survive the negative.

 

Hurry up, Braden!

2 days early

the 4th of July.  One of my favorite holidays.  Celebrated this year on the 2nd of July, which doesn’t have quite the same ring…

My first ever success at photographing fireworks

 

 

  proof that we were in a small town, I was sitting directly across the street from where the fireworks were being shot off.  as in, ash was falling on my camera.  My whole family was hanging out in a long line, and it was a beautiful show…

 

Before the fireworks there was Frisbee:

    

(good catch, dad!)

lounging on the front porch

 

and scaring little sisters with poppers

we can’t get any more patriotic than that, now, can we?

Mom!

My mom’s ringtone for her girls…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That'll be alright
If I don't make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I'm gonna be just fine
'Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

So when I make big mistake
When I fall flat on my face
I know I'll be alright
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowin'
I will be just fine
'Cause nothin' changes who I am

I am Rosemary's granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done
My momma's still my biggest fan
Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
But I've got friends who love me
And they know just where I stand
It's all a part of me
And that's who I am

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My momma's still my biggest fan

Who I am by Jessica Andrews.

she loves me. she supports me.  she makes 12 baskets for my sister’s nursery and promises to make the roman shades for my kitchen. she volunteer to do whatever needs to be done in our family, without thought for what is going on in her life. she loves my grandparents even when they are crazy. she makes Ross and I biscuits and gravy on Mother’s day, because "I am mom and that is what I do. feed my kids"

I am turning into (a much less impressive version of) my mother, and I am totally okay with it.

 

Part of Sunday Citar